Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Untitled, or, if you like: The Zany Adventures of Felix _______

The sunset seen from the top of the strange highrise with the Italian restaurant was fading fast, and I still had to adjust my camera settings. My father was there, throwing small bits of plastic at me as I did this. "Hurry up", he chided. The incredible landscape in front of me was a blazing inferno in the sky, with two focal points of flame, churning on opposite ends of the horizon, yellow purple orange red green indigo etc. Then, complete darkness. The sunset was actually only a painting. The people up there were being duped! Them, with their stupid digital cameras and fat, underworked bodies. I was surgically turning myself into plasteel, light and unbreakable, so that I could begin to jump to incredible heights and learn to fly more easily. "C'mon," he said, knowing that I was unhappy about the outcome of this photo session. "I'll order a bacon pizza and if you like it too, you can bring it back to school with you."

Hold on.

My father hasn't eaten pork for 30 years, and I haven't been in school for a tenth of that time. Oh.

A dream. Eyes: pop open.

It's dark, of course. Everything is dark in the winter nightscapes of Prague, the dim, Soviet era streetlights grant no relief to the huge blanket of P.M. Confused. I never wake up like this, barring some unusual anxiety for the next day. That did not exist here. My time-awareness was off. It felt like I had been dreaming for hours, but it could have been an hour. Then: Voices in the hall, too loud Swedish (almost an oxymoron). Ida and friends arrive. It's 5 am. I have to wake up in 90 minutes.

I have conditioned myself to continue through dreams even after realizing their fictional nature. It's in this way that I can choose the destiny of each dream. Flying, floating, pushing down skyscrapers and corporate centers with my fingertips, my powers are endless. It is better than a movie, more realistic than the best hallucination. But this time was different. Upon realization, my psyche abruptly kaiboshed the dream, forcing me into wakefulness. The curious part is that, literally a dazed 30 seconds after waking up, I heard the keys in the door and someone walk into my flat.

Did I know they were coming? The future of all things are connected with small strings leading up to the very event. It is the "fate" of it, but multiple fates are possible. Any decision or choice, no matter the present significance, has a limited number of options. Therefore, "the sky's the limit" is a truly incorrect axiom, since we have travelled far beyond the "sky". It is like walking six small dogs with different leashes. Holding your arm out, the leashed spread apart in vectors all v-shaped. These are the paths. Take one, forgo another. These are your choices. Label them if you like. Draw them on a large sheet of paper for visualization. But, this path here will end at the KB Bank head office, where, in 30 minutes, I must teach. Goodbye.


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